Friday, December 21, 2012

Far Enough East

Have a look at the eclectic first issue of Far Enough East (H.A.L. Publishing's new online literary journal), of which I am a part.  There's some really cool stuff in here:

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, ZZZZ...

This film is about white men who say things to each other and sometimes don't say things to each other.  When they're not doing either of these two things, they often say things to each other while not saying things to each other.  Also, there's a mole and I'm asleep...

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Script Pipeline and I Did Interview Stuff

You can find some good questions, and some pretty-okay responses by me, if you open this link:

If you don't like good questions, and pretty-okay responses by me, then have a look at this tasty picture of a cruller (not bad, eh?):

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Romney's America

So I read that Romney wants to lead us toward "an America of yesterday, where people believed in God, went to Church, didn't screw around, worked hard, and became a SUCCESS!"  

The ‘didn’t screw around’ part is especially apt, because it’s common knowledge that people never had affairs prior to 1940.  It is also a proven fact that believing in God and going to church stops crime, makes people mate for life, cures erectile dysfunction, psoriasis, migraines, and leads to world peace.  Speaking of holiness, the sanctity of marriage is never more evident than when that marriage is between a man and a woman, right?  Who cares if the man has to marry five women before he settles down.  What people forget is that sometimes the sanctity has to be “arrived at.”    

Ah, that perfect America of yesterday -- when black people knew their place, gays were in hiding, and women always had supper ready when their men got home from work; when the environment was an obstacle that only future generations would have to worry about cleaning up, and when, if you weren’t a Christian, you were seen as misguided or just plain evil...  Those were the bright-and-shiny days.  Why would anyone not want to go back there immediately?  Clearly, for a society to progress, it has to take at least 72 steps in reverse.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

If You Like Stuff That's Likable...

The Story of Pines, an animated short film co-written by Alison Sudol of A Fine Frenzy, premieres today, October 2, on TakePart TV. It is a companion piece to Pines, Sudol’s third full-length studio album, which will be released on October 9. Preorder the songs in the film from the album Pines now on iTunes.

In the 16-minute short, a tree named Pine learns that her forest has been laid to waste. She then meets a bird named Bird, and the two embark on an adventure in search of “then”—a new forest home.

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

My Poem in Contrary Magazine

Contrary accepted one of my poems, which was rather nice of them.

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Old Stuff, New Stuff, Borrowed Stuff, Blue Stuff

1. Abe Vigoda

2. The Missouri Review published me; just not in their magazine:

3. Nothing much really -- maybe a jockstrap or two.

4. Grover, when he's sad.

Sunday, January 29, 2012

This Fix I Don't Want Fixed

I can't be sure of which gateway drug started it all (was it Seinfeld, or did this "dependence" originate much earlier with, say, Thundercats or those brief moments of Falcon Crest I'd catch before falling asleep?). 

Did The X-Files merely fan an already-established flame, or was it like that guy who fell over onto the detonator in The Bridge on the River Kwai? 

Whatever the case, I show no signs of improvement, and can't imagine a day when I'll even want to improve.  Don't talk to me about Intervention either; that's one I actually don't care for.  Still, I'm hooked, as they say, and there could always be another Lost just around the corner.  Even if there wasn't, though, I'd still have Law & Order streaming its bad self on Netflix, and BSG and MST3K and Sherlock, which I haven't seen much of yet, but...  Anyway, the high is too good, man.  And 'winter is coming,' right?  It's always coming.  Not that there's anything wrong with that.

I'm addicted to books, too, by the way, so get down off your high horse and let's watch Downton Abbey.  Finedon't, then.  More tea for me.

Friday, January 6, 2012

For the Sake of Argument

The Southeast Review's Writing Regimen provided this as one of their daily writing prompts:

Ron Carlson, the award-winning writer and teacher who currently directs the Creative Writing Program at UCI--Irvine, calls the props and items in a story, essay or narrative poem "inventory." When students in his classrooms complain of writer's block, he suggests frontloading the story with inventory and then carrying those items through the story to help reveal character and generate or resolve conflict. Today, write a story, essay, or poem that incorporates all of the following inventory items, and surprise yourself with the connections that result: hypocrite, cookie jar, telephone, hurricane.

The following is what I came up with while trying to be serious:

For the Sake of Argument

HYPOCRITE:  Look, if I'm gonna talk about something, I'm gonna be specific.

COOKIE JAR:  Let's discuss how I'm nothing without cookies in me.

TELEPHONE:  At least you're not shrinking.

HURRICANE:  Or destructive by nature.

COOKIE JAR:  But people always feel around inside me, even when there's nothing in me.  And when they don't feel around inside me, I feel neglected.  I'm like, Hello!

TELEPHONE:  'Hello'?  Really, Cookie Jar -- you're mocking me now?

COOKIE JAR:  You're the one with the tone.  :p

HURRICANE:  I'm always on the news, but people rarely talk about how nice I can my eye.

TELEPHONE:  Too easy, Cookie Jar.  Next you'll "push my buttons," I suppose.

HURRICANE:  Nobody even heard what I just said.  I can tear the roof off your house but still be ignored.

HYPOCRITE:  'Ignored'?  Listen, Eeyore, I haven't made a peep since the beginning, and nobody's even asked me how I am this morning.

COOKIE JAR:  Hey, let's all be sarcastic and hip.  :))

HURRICANE:  Hip's not in today.

COOKIE JAR:  Why not?

HURRICANE:  He didn't have a leg to stand on.

HYPOCRITE:  Oh, Jesus.

JESUS:  Yes?

HYPOCRITE:  Jesus! -- where'd you come from?

JESUS:  It's hard to explain, but basically I'm everywhere.  At least that's what they tell me.

THEY:  We never said that.  We don't say any of the things they say we say.  Wait--

COOKIE JAR:  I'm shaped like a cat and I'm fine with it.  See, guys?  Sarcasm.  :(

HYPOCRITE:  We're kind of off-topic now, don't you think?  And yet we keep going and going and going and going.  Not that what we're doing now isn't just "wonderful."

COOKIE JAR:  Yes! -- that's exactly what I was going for, Hypocrite.  LOL.

THEY:  You didn't actually laugh, you know.  You do know that, don't you.

HIP:  Sup, guys.

TELEPHONE:  Whoa, what are those?

HIP:  They're legs.  Duh.  Without them I wouldn't have a -- well, I wouldn't be here.  In all my glory or whatever.

HURRICANE:  I just hurt.

JESUS:  I can fix that, but first you have to ask me into your heart...and sign this waiver.

COOKIE JAR:  Sometimes I feel empty inside.  LOL.

TELEPHONE:  People use me.

HIP:  Man, it's dead up in here.

SKELETON:  Man, that's my line...

MAN:  You guys hear that?  Those two weren't even addressing me.  I feel you, They.

THEY:  Yeah, they blame us for everything.  I mean -- dammit!

HIP:  All right, so I'm pretty much outie 5,000 now.  Giddyup, Legs.

LEGS:  Sure, okay.  Because we live to serve.  Love, we mean.  We "love" to serve.

COOKIE JAR:  Yay!:) !

HYPOCRITE:  Oh, face it, you all just wanna have the last word.

Monday, January 2, 2012

Buddy (the Dog) and Morgan (the Cat) Discuss Politics

BUDDY:  I think I saw them.
MORGAN:  I see them too: An orange-ish dog and cat, right?
BUDDY:  Let's be really still for a second so they think we don't want in.
MORGAN:  I dunno; I should probably go whine somewhere or something.
BUDDY:  We totally don't even care, guys!  It's great out here!  A little cold never hurt anybody!
MORGAN:  Whoa, what was all that?
BUDDY:  Acting.
MORGAN:  Wow....  I mean, I believed you.  I actually thought you wanted to be out here.
BUDDY:  Thanks.  But stay in character, okay?
MORGAN:  What?  Ooh, I think I just saw something.
BUDDY:  I think they want us to think we saw something.
MORGAN:  What?
BUDDY:  I was only kidding, guys.  It's cold.  And I drink water out of a bowl.  The hay I sleep on smells like a dog.
MORGAN:  You're good at acting.
BUDDY:  I'm not acting now -- I honestly wanna be in there.  
MORGAN:  Man, you are really good at acting.
BUDDY:  Seriously, guys, it's not funny anymore.  I'm beginning to think that my life won't really begin until I'm in there with you, where the treats live.  It's all I think about, and it's not healthy.  I'd eat some grass if there was any left.  I coughed a while ago, you know.  I think being out here gives me malaria.
MORGAN:  You're using a very lot of words.  Is this politics?
BUDDY:  No.  I don't even have a podium.
MORGAN:  I'm starting to get a cramp everywhere.
BUDDY:  Oh, go ahead and move then.  They're not listening, anyway.
MORGAN:  Will we remember this forever?
BUDDY:  Remember what?  Hey! -- my toy over there in the yard...